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Life in reverse

Do you ever think about how your younger years would be different if you knew then what you know now?  I spent so much of my high school years full of anxiety about what others would think of me and trying not to cause too much of a ruckus. Looking back, I wish I gave less fucks. Those people whose opinions mattered so much back then are completely irrelevant to my life now. I was the girl who got top grades, was pretty enough, didn't do drugs, didn't hook up with boys, but I drank occasionally at parties. I was sort of mid-tier. I didn't belong to any one clique, but I had friends across a variety of groups. I was definitely not "popular", but I wasn't a "loser" either. Anyways, one night at a party I had a few drinks and got chatting with one of the popular guys (who also happened to be wealthy which wasn't why he was popular, but wealth and popularity tend to go hand-in-hand don't they?). So here we are chatting by a fire, and he leans in ...

Intro - can I be it all ?

Let's start with the here and now I suppose... I'm sipping on a very mediocre margarita after finally getting my baby to sleep for the night. Finally crawling out of the postpartum hole I've called home for the last 13 months, I'm wondering how on earth the global population is as massive as it is.  Time itself is experienced differently when you become a new parent. I remember being so sleep deprived at the beginning. Admiring my beautiful boy and trying to stay in the present, while simultaneously daydreaming of some future slumber-filled night, while simultaneously reminiscing about random chapters of the past. But this blog isn't about babies. It's about the identity fracture that can be created by becoming a mom. It's about the identity fracture that can be created by being a woman in these times, period. It's so easy to lose yourself while you're busy being everything to everyone else. The wife. The mom. The cook. The housecleaner. The lover. T...